Access our support and expertise:
Theme: loneliness
“Loneliness is affecting more and more of us in the UK and has had a huge impact on our physical and mental health during the pandemic. That is why we have chosen it as our theme for Mental Health Awareness Week 2022. Our connection to other people and our community is fundamental to protecting our mental health so we must find better ways of tackling the epidemic of loneliness.
We can all play a part in this. The week is also an invaluable opportunity for people to talk about all aspects of mental health, with a focus on providing help and advice.” Mark Rowland, Chief Executive of the Mental Health Foundation https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
In this blog Michaela Thompson, EMAHSN Senior Improvement Lead and Freedom to Speak up Guardian for the organisation reflects on her personal experience to mark mental health awareness week.
As it is Mental Health Awareness Week, I wanted to take time to reflect on my own experience. Have you ever felt lonely, even in a roomful of people you love and who you know love you? Perhaps it’s not quite the same as the disconnection experienced by many during the pandemic, but loneliness did impact my mental health wellbeing at a time when I didn’t really know much about the subject.
I would like to share a conversation I had with my dad that went something like this:
Dad: “Are you happy?”
Me: “Course I am.”
Dad: “Are you really happy?”
Me: “Really? Umm… not sure.”
Dad: “You have one life and, whilst change is hard, sometimes it’s what you’ve got to do to be happy.”
This was the last conversation I had with my dad, who sadly died a few days later after a short illness with cancer. Whilst I had the privilege of providing my dad with end of life care, unfortunately, this coincided with the time my marriage was crumbling. I felt unhappy, and by unhappy, I mean absolutely miserable and very alone. Every day I would get up, put on my pink lipstick (it is my favourite colour) and paint a smile on my face whilst I went through the same daily routine of getting dressed, doing the school runs, sorting out homework, making tea, sleeping (when I was able) – repeated day in, day out. Despite being surrounded by wonderful friends, the unbearable loneliness weighed me down for a very long time. I could not see an end to this unhappiness, but somehow I knew I had to make some changes. I remembered what my dad had said: I only had one life.
Having previously never been able to even run for a bus, I somehow discovered the joy of running. Being out in the fresh air and running, gave me respite to process and put in to perspective thoughts and experiences throughout the day. I felt energised, so as a result I became focused on running even more. Now I’m not saying I ever become a marathon runner, but running and the space it gave me enabled me to feel happy and connected again when I was with friends and family. It gave me an internal sense of positive mental wellbeing, and a feeling that some of the weight that had been with me for such a long time had been lifted.
To support and encourage my ongoing positive mental wellbeing, I try to focus on positivity (being half full as opposed to half empty. Some days this is extremely challenging, so I have a toolbox of things I can call upon that work for my mental wellbeing. Different days require different tools, from journaling or saying out aloud (or even shouting out) things I’m proud of or feel positive about on a really bad day, to cycling challenges, modern jive dancing or completing the actions on the Action for Happiness calendar https://actionforhappiness.org/
For me, recognising when I am on a negative path and addressing this as soon as possible is crucial. Talking about how you are feeling is also key.
I have increased my awareness about parity of esteem – valuing mental health as much as physical health. I also trained as mental health first aider so I could help others to value their mental health.
You may all have your individual ways of improving and looking after your mental wellbeing, the important thing is to recognise when self-care is needed, and to address that need.
There’s lots of support out there. The NHS website has a helpful list of mental health charities, organisations and support groups that can offer expert advice.
The Freedom to Speak Up Guardian is there to support workers to speak up when they feel they are unable to in other ways. Mental wellbeing and speaking up improve the lives of workers and I was, therefore, delighted to be appointed as the EMAHSN Freedom To Speak Up Guardian in September 2021. My role is to encourage and support colleagues to speak up about any concerns they may have. I passionately believe that speaking up and raising concerns leads to an improvement in working culture, which in turn leads to better patient safety.
Have you ever wished you had spoken up? Sometimes barriers get in the way of you speaking up, for example:
Speaking up is always the right thing to do. If you encounter any of these barriers, that is also something you should speak up about.
Freedom to speak up is about encouraging a positive culture where people feel they can speak up, as well as creating psychological safety – knowing suggestions will be acted upon and all members of the team or organisation will be heard.
Senior Improvement Lead